She's An American Girl

I took my 5 year old niece, Izzy, to THE AMERICAN GIRL PLACE in Los Angeles today for her first time. She has a highly influential 10 year old cousin who has one of these dolls, and therefore she was REALLY excited to get one too.


I envisioned Izzy getting a doll that looks like she does (brown skin, dark hair, dark eyes). So I was flabbergasted when she insisted on having the WHITEST doll in the entire store (which is saying a lot, because 98% of the dolls here are white).



Kit Kitteridge is the doll. I asked her many, many times if she would prefer a doll that looked like her, but when we went to the section of the store that has the "Just Like Me" dolls, we found that there wasn't one that looked like her. Of the approx. 20 dolls in this collection, 16 of them have "light" (read white) skin, 2 have "dark" skin and 2 have "medium" skin color. The two medium skin toned dolls look nothing like my niece. She lost interest immediately.

"I want Kit!" She kept saying. Well actually she kept saying she wanted "Kate", but turns out she had the name wrong. Her 10 year old cousin has the "Kit" doll, so she wanted the same thing. I tried to get her to buy the Native American doll, Kaya, or the Mexican heritage doll, Josefina, as they both looked just like her, but she frowned at both of them. FROWNED!
At first I thought it was social brainwashing, making her think that the white girl was the better doll. After some questioning, I discovered that she didn't like the clothes that Kaya and Josefina wear. She liked Kit's clothes. I couldn't argue with that. Kit does have better clothes. I kept trying to explain that she could buy any of the clothes she wanted for any of the dolls, but that didn't change the fact that Josefina's life ain't as glamorous as Kit's.

That's when it hit me. The Mexican, Native American and African American dolls all look suspiciously unglamorous. I'd much rather be Kit Kittridge than be...oh say, ADDY! The little black slave child!!!!

I'm not making this up. All of these dolls are part of their "historical" collection. The thing is, the white dolls get all the glamorous decades and locales. The only black girl doll is set during the 1700s, the only Mexican doll is set during the 1800s. Look at the difference in bedding between Josefina (Mexican), Addy (Black) and Kit (White)


It's a racket. The whole thing is a total racket. But my niece is thrilled to have a doll just like her older cousin. So there is that. And I delight in knowing that when her older cousin discovers this, she'll likely become less interested in her own doll. But I love the Josefina and Kaya dolls. I love their historical clothes, and I love the way the dolls look. But would it kill AMERICAN GIRL to market these dolls in a current decade? And then offer these historical outfits seperately?

REMOTE CONTROL

As a lover of TV, I get very sad when a network pulls the plug on a show that I enjoy watching. But I've certainly pulled the plug on a lot of shows, that still air!

This year I stopped watching:

PROJECT RUNWAY - Moving from Bravo to the Lifetime channel, something must have shifted in transit. This season, in Los Angeles, and the short, preceding "All Stars" episodes were awful. Moving the show to the west coast kept regular judges Nina Garcia and Michael Kors from being available for every episode, and their replacements were often boring, and often not of the same caliber. Speaking of lesser caliber, the contestants this season seemed very weak. I thought that most of the contestant's on the Bravo Network's replacement, THE FASHION SHOW with Isaac Mizrahi were better (in retrospect). I gave up on this show about a month ago, and I feel great now! Tim Gunn, why don't YOU make it work?!

FLASH FORWARD - This is a new series on ABC. It's crap. I watched the first 4 episodes and then couldn't take it any longer. Nothing really happens, the writing is trite, and nearly every actor in the cast (all the white ones) are either British or Australian, and have crummy "American" accents. Joseph Fiennes, in particular, is a hack. He must be a student of the David Caruso Acting School. The title opens itself up for lots of jokes. Pick one.

VAMPIRE DIARIES - This is a new WB series. Everyone on it looks exactly the same, even the one black girl looks just like all the white girls. All the characters are in high school, but they all look 30. Typical of the WB, they sacrifice acting ability for fashion model good looks. Even the writer's take a back seat. Sucks.

CASTLE - Also on ABC. Even though I have a crush on both Nathan Fillion and Tamala Jones, I cannot continue to watch this show. I love all the actors on it, but I find the episodes uninteresting. I watched 4 of them, and then cut it loose.

Instead I just follow Nathan on twitter, and Tamala on facebook. Stalker?

What shows did you give the axe to?

Chane't Johnson is Still Out of Her Damned Mind

Living In The Twilight Zone

I'll be real honest here, folks. I don't know the first thing about the TWILIGHT franchise. For some people, that makes me very cool. For a lot of people that makes me a fucking out of touch, old dork.

Everything I've seen/heard/read about it comes from thumbing through my US WEEKLY. That means I can pick out Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner from a line-up. And I understand there's a girl named Kristen Stewart in it too, but I cannot picture what she looks like. Does she look a little like that "Veronica Mars" chick, Kristen Bell? I dunno.

Oh, turns out they look nothing alike. Well, there you are.

This morning I got my first "taste" of TWILIGHT, when I saw Robert Pattinson's interview on REGIS AND KELLY. From what I remember of it, he was really boring, but, turns out, he's a Brit. Which I guess explains why Americans are so ga-ga for him. "We" love anything, scrawny, unkempt and British.

But I still don't get it.  Turns out he was in a couple HARRY POTTER movies too.  But I also can't stand that franchise, so this is news to me.

I suppose that if I were still of college age, I might like TWILIGHT. When I was a teen I really liked all that sissy vampire literature. But now it just makes me laugh when I see how excited people are about this stuff.

Maybe I should try writing my own series of TWILIGHT novels? I'd set mine in the future, when they're old. I'd call the books, TWILIGHT: The Twilight Years.

The first book would be called, SENIORS REST HOME. All the kids are now old and in assisted living. They smell bad, can't hear, and complain about things. The wolf man dude wears depends.

The second book would be called, PAPER SKIN & HIDDEN VEINS. The vampire dude would have trouble sucking the oldster's blood, because their skin is so papery, and it's hard to hit the veins. And their bruises don't ever seem to heal, so they look totally gross.

I'd call my third book, DENTURED SERVANTS. The vampire dude has to get fitted for dentures. Accidentally leaves his fangs inside the skin of a nurse/victim. Mayhem ensues.

Whadda ya think? Has this book series got legs? Or at least a walker?

Aloha, Bitches!

I love my new Jack Lord tiki mug that I use as a silk flower vase. Don't be jealous.

The Great Ballantine's Last Request!

^{On November 3rd we lost another legend. The Great Carl Ballantine passed away. I have been a life-long fan of his work, and I've had the pleasure to run into him several times at the Magic Castle, and around town over the years. I even got to see him perform his magic/comedy act one evening at the Castle. That was a rare treat! I've blogged about Mr. Ballantine here before, so today I want to share with you, a beautiful obituary that the Magic Castle sent me, and I want to share with you, Carl Ballantine's last request to his fans.}

^{Below is the Magic Castle obituary. At the end of it you will see that Mr. Ballantine and his family request that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the pet rescue group, USED PETS in Inglewood. I have also blogged about USED PETS before. My friend Cate Koetter is the human behind the group here. And Cate does an amazing, amazing, amazing job with helping animals find people. I know that my next pup will come from Cate. I know it. And I also know that Cate can use financial assistance from all of us pet lovers right now!}

^{If you are able to, please make a donation to USED PETS in memory of the GREAT CARL BALLANTINE.}

^{Carl Ballantine
(September 27, 1917 – November 3, 2009)}

<sup>Carl Ballantine, the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Magician” whose comedy-magic routine was a staple of nightclubs and television for more than 60 years, passed away in his sleep at his home in Hollywood, California on Tuesday morning, November 3, at the age of 92.


“This kid’s dynamite!!” Born Meyer Kessler in Chicago, Carl first began appearing as a straight magician under the name Carl Sharp. The “Ballantine” last name was suggested by a Ballantine’s Whiskey ad. After struggling for several years as a straight manipulator, Carl adapted a new stage persona as the magician who thought he was the greatest in the world, but who never finished a trick in his entire act. Thus was born “The Amazing Ballantine.”</sup>

^{“There are plenty of good jobs out there for a fella that wants to go straight.” Enough magicians were working theaters and hotels in the 1940s that Carl’s parody was a roaring success, but even he was surprised when he was booked to work outlying theaters where no magicians had appeared for years. “They won’t get the act,” if they haven’t seen a magician, Carl told his booking agent, but was delighted when proven wrong. They laughed just as hard in the sticks as they did in the cities.}

^{“Only the beginning, ONLY the beginning!” His fame grew with television in the 1950s, where he appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1953; he spent the next forty years almost continually on the tube, performing the classic Amazing Ballantine act on The Tonight Show, The Steve Allen Show, The Garry Moore Show, The Dinah Shore Show, The Dean Martin Show and dozens of other variety skeins. He was a regular on the ABC-TV series McHale’s Navy from 1962 to 1966 as Torpedoman Lester Gruber, starring with Ernest Borgnine and brilliant comic actors Tim Conway, Joe Flynn and Bob Hastings. He was the first magician to play Las Vegas at the El Rancho Vegas in 1956, and starred in the Broadway revival of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum with Phil Silvers in 1971.}

^{The Amazing Ballantine never seemed to grow old; it has often been said his was the most copied act in magic. He appeared as guest star on numerous magic specials starring Mark Wilson, David Copperfield, Harry Anderson and others. Cartoon and voice-over work, plus regular guest appearances and lecture/interviews at magic conventions kept him working into his ninth decade. He was the recipient of the Special Fellowship in 1972, the Performing Fellowship in 1984, and the Lifetime Achievement Fellowship in 2006 from the Academy of Magical Arts.}

^{Carl was married for 45 years to actress Ceil Cabot, who passed away in 2000. He is survived by his sister, Esther Robinson; his daughters, Saratoga and Molly; and the hundreds of magicians he mentored, advised, coached, teased and loaned his material to for the past half century.}

<sup>No funeral services are planned. A celebration in honor of Carl will be held for members on December 13th at 4pm at the Magic Castle.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the pet adoption agency Used Pets, 517 W. Buckthorn, Inglewood, CA 90301.</sup>

^{Poster from the Nielsen Poster Collection.}

REALITY CHECK

While the rest of the country gets excited about the next episode of SURVIVOR, THE AMAZING RACE, or dizzy with anticipation over another season of AMERICAN IDOL, I love watching reality shows that lie on the fringe of the tv "dial."  Currently my two favorite fringe reality series are:

DIETTRIBE on Lifetime.  It's an inspirational show, and the trainer, Jessie Pavelka is my dream man.



FOURSOME on Playboy TV.  This show is hilarious!  4 people (2 men and 2 women) live in a house together and get naked a lot.  The formula is typically: one alpha guy, who's instinctual by nature, one neurotic guy filled with impotent rage, and two bisexual women, one of which is usually an alcoholic with daddy issues and the other is usually a lesbian coming to terms with herself.  It's a formula that works!



Enjoy.  And, you're welcome.